Several Updates

It has been a few days since I've posted but I've had a great excuse. My computer died completely and I had to go and purchase another one. It was due time but I still hated to spend the money especially with the trip we will be making to Ky very soon for Mikes homecoming.

So anyhow I think I mentioned that I had been doing the new WW plan. I may have also mentioned that I hadn't really been losing any weight with it so I went to see a nutritionist. He basically told me that I wasn't eating nearly enough and that my metabolism was in one word, 'fried'. I needed to rewire it and get it working again and the only way to do that was as contrary as it seems was to feed my body far more calories than I have been giving it. We figured that with the WW plan I was eating about 1,000 to 1200 calories per day which if I did nothing but sit on a couch all day may be ok but since I workout like crazy it is not conducive to weight loss. Based on my age, weight and activity levels I need approx 1641 calories per day in order to lose weight and that is based on working out and burning about 400 calories per day during a 5 day a week workout schedule. If I were to begin working out more than that or if I were to slow down my workouts then I'd need to readjust my daily calories. Even this isn't apparently enough with my shot metabolism so Im calorie cycling which basically means that on a couple days I will eat very high calories, on a couple days I will go down to the lowest amount of about 1200. The rest of the days I'd eat a moderate amount of around 1400 per day. I've also been told that in the first couple of weeks I may not lose any weight at all but that I should not be discouraged because it could take a month to give my metabolism the  jolt it needs . I've agreed to give it a shot and I'm doing the best I can with food choices and I am counting my calories.

Paul got in last night from his TDY. I was a little mad at him because he smoked while he was gone. He wasn't going to tell me but I smelled it on him. He fessed up and apologized. I asked him if he really wants to not smoke because if he is going to sneak around behind my back I'd rather him just tell me he doesn't not want to stop. He told me that he doesn't want to, he does want to stop and that when he is gone its harder and he doesn't know why he does it. I sort of think its bullshit.

Well it looks like my boy is in single digits as far as his deployment goes. I am so happy that I can't stand it. I am so looking forward to hugging his neck. I just wish I could see Travis too. Maybe one day he too will have his life together. I pray for that everyday.

So that is it for now. I'm looking forward to seeing what the next weeks hold.

I'm beautiful just the way I am damnit!

Seriously!
I woke up this  morning and went for a run. It wasn't a super long run and it wasn't super fast. I'd say I covered about 4 miles. It took me close to 45 minutes. It was really hot outside even at 7:30 this morning but I was enjoying myself. It hit after I'd actually made it without walking up a pretty significant hill that I'm pretty amazing. More amazing than I give myself credit for. Sure I say I am strong but then I follow it up with something negative and when you think about it that makes it not count ya know. Anyhow as I kept on running I started really focusing on all the things about me that are pretty neat and it just got me to feeling so stinking good. There really is something to this whole positive thinking thing. It's nice of course when someone tells you something nice about yourself but when you can see the greatness that is you well then that is something else. During my run rather than singing along with Eminem (a damn fine poet if I say so) I said affirmations and when I could think of none I repeated those I had already said. Here are a few I came up with: I am strong, really strong. Ask Paul. We wrestle and I can give him a run for his money. You guys he aint weak either!, I have great endurance and sometimes that is a lot better than having great speed, I'm pretty witty and I've been told I'm funny and I know I can take a joke better than most. I have great empathy for those less fortunate than me, those who are my friends can count on me and my family can trust that I've always got their back and that my love for them has no limits. I also went on about how successful I've been with my weight loss and how I have inspired others to try and live a healthier life. There was more but you get the gist of it all. Anyway after my run I was feeling so pumped and after a pretty decent breakfast I went in to shower and then I did what I always do before I get in the shower I took a good long look at my naked self and rather than call myself names for the imperfections that I saw I looked beyond them and saw so much more. Rather than seeing the loose skin from the weight I've lost I saw years added to my life and I did see muscle. That loose skin wasn't such an eyesore to me when I saw it through new eyes. It instead became a badge of honor and something while not necessarily attractive something to be proud of. I looked at my face and instead of seeing the tell tell signs of aging, those little lines that are becoming more pronounced as the years go by, I saw sparkly blue eyes that still light up when I see my husband and children, full lips that readily smile and that is pretty cool.  I almost started to cry because for the first time I think I was seeing myself as God and my husband see me. They think I'm beautiful just the way I am and maybe just maybe I beleive that myself.

week summary

So lets cap off the week shall we?

Well on Monday I began counting calories and you know it hasn't been too bad. I'm actually enjoying seeing myself log on to myfitnesspal and get to my calorie goal and exercise goal. I also have a really good feeling about my weigh in on Monday. I need the boost of a good weigh in.

I set a calorie burning goal of 2400 for the week and today I surpassed that. I went over 2700 with the run I did this morning. I was pretty happy. I may or may not take a rest day tomorrow. I've got to mow the lawn so perhaps I will just rest... Back to the exercise grind on Monday though.

Paul left for his TDY yesterday. I miss him already. I get used to him being here and when  he isnt I really do miss him. He annoys the piss out of me at times but hey isn't that what marriage is about at times? We have been together twenty years so I'm sure that I annoy him as well. Hell, I know I do.

I chatted with my Michael this morning online. He is struggling a bit with the things he sees while at war. He told me he is tired of seeing dead people. My heart breaks for him. I wish so badly I could take those horrific images away from his young mind. I just pray that he can get past it when he comes home. He is also still so sad over things with Heather. I could just strangle her. She makes me so mad and I swear that once we have all of his things from her she is going to know just what I think of her.

Today I'm going to go get my toes done and mosey around the mall I think. Other than that nothing much planned. Its a lazy day. My pal Erika is out of town for a week at the beach:( Lucky girl~! Carrie comes home tonight which is great because I've missed her and also because Loris cat is driving me crazy. The damn thing keeps biting me whenever I go over to take care of it. Carrie can help me with it. I don't know why but I just keep thinking , Carrie the cat whisperer!

Chow for now.

Rain, car cleaning and counting calories

seriously folks these are a few of my pet peeves and today I'm getting no rest from any of them. It is pouring outside and looks to stay this way all day. I know we can use the rain and I really have nothing to do but still... I saw on the radar we are in for more of the same weather over the next several days. I've been cleaning my car because I've hinted enough at Paul to do it. He hasn't taken the bait so I was out in the garage this morning getting rid of trash, cleaning inside windows and dusting. I need to vacuum but I have to take it to the car wash for that and with the rain I'm not doing it today. Washing the outside is also a no go until the weather is better. At least the junk is out of it and I should be able to see through the windows now. They were so nasty. I think it had been four months since the windows were cleaned in it. Shameful:( As for counting calories, it sucks but I am doing it. I lose weight when I do and I really need to lose 20 pounds. I feel so fat and if I don't, come winter nothing in my winter wardrobe will fit my fat ass. I took a weight loss calculator and determined that I would like to lose 1.5 pounds per week. I need to exercise 5x a week and burn at least 377 calories each time, eat no more than 1200 calories to do this. Of course if I burn more calories I can eat them if I choose to. It is going to force me to make much better food choices. I lost a lot of weight when I combined calorie/points with WW. Its worth it to do it again.

Paul has staff duty tomorrow night. Then he leaves again for KY on Friday for a week. I'm ok with it but it aggravates me that I feel like these travel dates are just sprung on us. I hate that I have plans that seem solid and then boom, they aren't. Frustrating.

Well I'm going to end this for now but since it is our nations birthday, Happy 4th of July. Please remember that our freedoms come with a cost to service members and their families every day. Thank them if you can for their diligence in helping to preserve our way of life.

Chow!

Feeling like nothing works

So I am in a bit of a funk. I feel so lost with regard to my efforts to lose 20 lbs. I am working out like crazy and though there are times when I over do it with my nutrition for the most part I'm eating well and yet my scale does not move and in fact sometimes goes up. I had a DR appt and my thyroid is once again acting up but with my current meds it is in the high normal range. I feel like she should give me some more synthroid to bring it to the middle. I'm sure this is the reason for my fatigue and weight gain. Blah. She is having me come back for more blood test and a recheck in a month or so and if it is still high or higher then she will do something. In the meantime I have a nutrition consult on July 11. Maybe I can get some guidance there. I hate being this much above where I like to weigh. I dont like the way I look nor do I like the way I feel about the increase in my weight.

This weekend we are having a barbecue with many of the neighbors. I'm doing some fish and brats and then making a lightened version of potato salad and a lower fat dessert as well. All the neighbors are bringing food for the grill and a side so we ought to have plenty. Afterwards, about 7:30 we will head to York Field for the 4th Fireworks. I'm hoping to maybe go to Calloway on Sunday because they have some fun stuff planned. Also we can rent bikes or go on a hike out there. I think it would be nice.  Monday is Thunder on the Hootch downtown so if we want to go somewhere on the actual 4th we can go see what that is all about. Its the last weekend before Paul heads back to Knox for a week so I'd like to spend it doing something fun. The week he is gone though I'm going to clean this house like its been infected with a plague as well as wash and detail my car. My car is gross! I plan on being busy so I shouldn't miss him too much and honestly I can sleep in the bed without him waking me with snoring or even worse, gas! LOL

Will check in again later. I've got to figure out dinner. Thinking sausage and pepper pot with mashed cauliflower....

Day two of my sugar detox

and so far so good. I've even got Paul doing it and he is having a hard time but hasn't as far as I know given in. I have a little headache though so I had to make a smoothie and use some of the higher glycemic index fruit in order to get past the cravings and help with the headache. I wish I'd remembered to take pics of it because it was so good. I will post the recipe in a bit.

I slept in the spare room last night because Paul wouldn't stop snoring and I slept so great. Im just going to do it from now on at the first sound of snoring rather than fuss with him all night. Not worth it. He still snores and I get no rest.

The last two days at the gym have kicked my ass but I'm hoping that by really sticking with my diet and working out hard I can drop some weight before Mike comes home at the end of July. I also committed to joining the Columbus Road Runners. I have wanted to for awhile but always felt as though I couldn't keep up. Hell I may not be able to but at least it will get me into more of a runners mode and also into training for the half in November which I need desperately.

Mango/Pineapple Smoothie

6 oz greek yogurt
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 cup pineapple
1 cup mango
1/2 cup ice

Blend well. Serves 2.

Fathers Day

So I woke up before 7:00 and no I didn't get up so early to make Paul breakfast. I was forced up by his constant snoring. I'm seriously considering sleeping in another room and only coming together for conjugal visits. I'm exhausted all the time.

I'm still slightly irritated at him over the whole birthday/optometrist thing and if you know me personally you know about this. If you don't lets just say he behaved poorly and really hurt my feelings.  Anyhow I still took him to brunch and we are going to head to a movie this afternoon. Probably going to see the new Pirates movie though I'd rather see Bridesmaids. Whatever, its his day so I'll save the other one for a day this coming week and go myself when its really hot in the afternoon.

Tomorrow I begin the 21 day sugar detox. Scary scary scary simply because the last week I've eaten like a sow and included all sorts of crappola. I'm also back to the gym tomorrow which I'm so glad for because I have missed it this last week. I hate when I'm not exercising.

So, there you have it. I'm going to update this thing at least a couple of days a week and include the new recipes I try as well as some pics of the things I make. I always enjoy seeing what other folks eat so why not.